writing to my baby

On snips of paper… on collections of dog eared pages, there are so many memories.

but maybe a lot and maybe there is too many thrown out.

Like the baby’s ankle bracelet from the hospital.. that was thrown out. by who i do not know but i am extremely guilt and super upset that it got lost

I feel distraught actually

and like a very bad mother. (for losing the ankle bracelet)

So in hoping to remember things for her, I want to tell her how strong she is how she always led the team. How we followed you Eiri, how you knew what to do. How you led the way, and you are a leader.

Eiri.

Today, today as we were nursing, as this is your favourite thing after nursery, you went to nursery after 14 months home with me.

21 july 2022

Eirionedd has started grabbing my hands and telling me what she wants. A few days ago she wanted me to continue stroking her feet after I stopped. She wanted me to continue stroking those feet. This time, she wants my hands/arm under her armpit/arm as she wants to be in control of lifting up her own head as she feeds. The other hand she is using to massage the breast, to enjoy the milk at a flow that auits her. She also pushes into the space between my breasts. She enjoys movement with. She enjoys the autonomy of nursing.